I WALK MY LIFE

缘

2012-01-31T10:23:00.000+08:00

他诉说他她的故事 - 快乐。
她迫不及待地分享她他的幸福 - 忽略了那个他的痛楚。
她他远距离了好久，他放弃了她，她选择了等待 - 值得吗？
她遇见了他，伤痕累累；她遇上了另一个他，美丽的她打从心底漂亮起来 - 错的他让她更懂得珍惜现有的幸福。
他她机缘巧合下相处了几天，回到了各自的国家，再恢复了陌生人的身份 - 留下了什么？
他她宗教信仰皮肤眼珠都不一样，心却紧紧地靠在一起 - 得不到家人朋友的祝福，该前进吗？

感情的世界还真是多样化，有些甚至无法用字语陈述。

你学会了什么？
妳领悟了什么？
你看透了什么？
你妳更强大了吗？

无论怎样，我始终相信时间与机遇会带领我们迎接真正的快乐与幸福。
感恩生命里的人事物，让每一天增添了色彩。
=)

The last day of 2011. =)

2011-12-30T21:02:00.000+08:00

I will spend my last day of 2011 (which is tomorrow) and will enter 2012 in ward 52B SGH with Dr M.

What a way to celebrate New Year- doing something that I like!

Elective here is satisfying, I've learnt a lot, there are nice people who are willing to teach, I really appreciate the opportunities.

I've finally done taking blood for ABG today under guidance! My first ever experience to take blood from an artery, haha.

I've observed several burr hole surgeries and many interesting cases.

Overall, 2011 has been a very fulfilling year and I am sure 2012 will be even better!

May I make more improvements to be a better person in the year 2012.

Possibilities and the unknowns make life interesting.

Happy New Year! =)

Of calluses and relationship.

2011-11-06T13:53:00.001+08:00

I guess learning to play a new song is like entering a new relationship.

with new chords, new picking and strumming methods,
different skin areas will be exposed to frictions;
just like how you need to adapt to his/her habits, character and personality.

if you practiced too much at one go, tenderness especially at the finger tips is unavoidable, and you wouldn't be able to play well for the next few days;
just like how if you hold on too tightly to someone, you wouldn't leave space for the person to breathe and what might happen next wouldn't be favorable.

bit by bit, with practice, ugly calluses will be formed, which are essential to play the song well;
just like how sacrifices have to be made in the journey of love,
the uneven surface of a crystal ball will need to be smoothed in order to roll further.

adequate calluses can only be maintained by regular practice;
just like how time and commitment are both crucial for good relationship building.

of course hand muscles will need to be coordinated to move swiftly across chords,
patience, passion and the constant desire to perform better are vital;
just like the multiple factors which will potentially affect a relationship, for the better or the worse. =)

011111 - 11:11 PM

2011-11-01T20:11:00.000+08:00

20 days to freedom!

to love properly

2011-10-22T10:11:00.000+08:00

I always have trouble expressing myself, especially when it comes to things that matter.

I have the avoidance trait, avoid things or people that will affect me, be it someone who strikes a chord in my heart or those whom I don't see eye to eye with.
To love someone properly and to say 'I Love You' when you really mean it, may sound easy but its a lifelong lesson to learn by heart.

To improve myself:

Start saying 'I Love You'- start with my parents, I wonder how they will react.
Halt avoidance- look into their eyes, and if I have nothing better to say, just smile. =)
To like someone is nothing to be ashamed of- it can happen to anyone, so just be honest to myself, face it and learn from it.
Its true that not every love story has a good ending, but behind every failure there is an experience. As long as we learn something from it, it will be worthwhile.
Every relationship starts off with a little uncertainties and anticipations *tipsy tipsy*, but always remember that if you truly like someone, you want him to be happy, with or without you, every obstacle will be okay then if you have this mentality.

I've learnt how to play and sing my first song properly- Valentine by Kina Grannis.

I'm still yet to decide what my next song will be.

We'll see.

OSCE shock.

2011-10-20T20:11:00.003+08:00

I mean- I know the stuff.
Truly, I know them.
But what's wrong with me?!
Performance anxiety is stupid.

Paeds- Neonatal Jaundice in <24hours. I was so near to mention ABO incompatibility. I asked for the blood group, direct coombs test positive, why can't I just say it.

Psych- Schizophrenia. I think I did everything. But I don't think I have enough time for the management part.

O&G- TAN YEE PING!!! HRT CANNOT GIVE MORE THAN 5 YEARS!!! high risk for breast cancer, heart attack and stroke!!! Also- menopausal symptoms from head to toe, maybe I should stick the diagram on the bathroom wall or something!

GP- worst station ever! MONASH- morphine, oxygen, nitrate, aspirin and then in CCU, streptokinase and heparin! you knew it! but why can't you say it in order! AMI- Heart attack- call ambulance and talk to whoever in the emergency department! you did this station before!

Ah well...

I learnt my mistakes and will never do them again!

The real OSCE in 23 days!

*finger-crossed* I will do better.

Hospital Permai.

2011-10-11T19:11:00.000+08:00

I'm just thinking I should post something to remember the day: 111011 =P

=) so what did I do today?

I visited the forensic ward in Hospital Permai for the first time.
If a person who committed a crime is proven to have a mental disorder or s/he wasn't in the right state of mind when s/he committed the crime, s/he will be sent to the forensic ward in a psychiatric hospital for treatment and management until he is fit to stand for his trial again.
There are many patients in the ward, some were there for > 30 years, there seems to be no way out for them, its basically a 'prison' for those who are mentally ill.

I learnt about 'the ruler's pleasure':
In order to get themselves discharged, they have to send appeal letters to the ruler of the state, for example, the Sultan of Johor for those who originated from Johor. These appeal letters don't seem to get through the system well, there are patients who appealed for > 10 years but still stuck in the 'prison' even though they are fit to be discharged. All they need is just a signature from the 'almighty' RULER of the state. There is obviously something wrong with the system, I wonder if the letters even reached the sultan at all.

I feel sad for these patients, once they have been admitted into the 'prison', their life has practically ended.

十月的天空

2011-10-09T11:51:00.001+08:00

是彩色的。
每天都过得好充实、好踏实。
好久没写文章了，华语变得好生疏。

Life is great here.
...
I guess its not about the language... I can't articulate well even in English.
Hmmm... I guess my mind has been programmed to facts, my first paper is just 5 weeks away.

I sleep so well at night every day cause my brain has been exhausted from repetition of what I have learnt over and over again whenever possible during the day. =)
And thanks to my dear guitar, which allows me to do some mindless activity whenever I need a break.
Chocolate indulgence is an issue, I have been bingeing too much without worrying about the calories.
Exercise, yea right, exercise, I swim occasionally, but definitely not up to the standard of what I will be telling the SPs in OSCE.

=) My mind is all about exams now, but I think this is the right thing to do, after all its my MBBS exit exams!
I will make sure I do well this time.

2011-09-18T22:25:00.000+08:00

8 weeks left.

Be mindful and smile. =)

2011-09-14T08:00:00.000+08:00

My mind was in chaos for the past 2 weeks,
I care about people and things that are not important,
at the same time hurting people who are really important and who truly care about me.

Reminders:

Be mindful.
Be myself.
Live at the moment.
Prioritize - people & things.
Everything happens for a reason.

Also, I want to thank You for giving me opportunities to discover & improve myself.
And, thank You for the memories which put a smile on my face every time I recall.
Step-by-step, mindful little steps, positive things will come along and the future is bright.

10 weeks to go.

2011-09-06T01:22:00.000+08:00

And the one of my best holidays is now over.
Although I'm still suffering from withdrawal symptoms but I know I have to buck up and to FOCUS on preparing for my MBBS finals.
I have to get my priorities right.

10 more weeks only?!
Scary but thinking positively, 12 more weeks from now, no more major exams for me at least until the end of 2012! =)

GO GO FIGHTING! =)

Pulau Besar.

2011-08-28T03:08:00.001+08:00

I can smell the sea already!!! =)

Can't wait to go there! =)

Hope the pictures are real. =P

家

2011-08-25T00:03:00.001+08:00

爸爸
妈妈
公公
婆婆
外婆

不管在哪里，有你们在的地方才是家。
真的觉得自己很幸福，因为你们，我真的很幸福。
希望你们远在北方能够好好照顾身子，健康快乐。

人生数十年，感恩有你陪我度过。
有你才有我。
有家在心底，是我向前奔驰的动力。

念家。

from your one and only:

2011-07-30T22:11:00.007+08:00

I have to be strong for you.
For I'm the only one that you can rely on when you are old.
Thanks for taking over my role as a responsible granddaughter.
Don't waste your time worrying about me.
I just want you to enjoy your life, I will too.
I know that when I'm happy you will be happy too, so I will definitely make sure that I will be happy no matter what, I will smile at my difficulties and laugh at my failures and obstacles.
For I'm strong enough to go through these, even without you, I promise.
I want you to live your life to the max, to cycle to where ever you want, to travel to where ever you like, but just make sure that you are safe.
If my tears fell down accidentally, please ignore me, for I just need to wash my eyes once in a while just to see clearer afterwards.
Your trust in me keeps me going, keeps me growing.
Please live like there's no tomorrow!
Please live your adventurous life that you have always wanted, for you have nothing to worry about anymore, live your wildest dreams like you were young again, when I wasn't exist yet.
Thanks for the past 22 years that you have spent on me, its enough already, now go and enjoy your life like a newly wed couple!

Just promise me, when you are tired, when you are weak, tell me, come to me, I will always be here.
Don't ever try to hide from me, for I will still go to you no matter what.

And,
thanks for teaching me how to love properly,
the most important lesson in life.

strings attached.

2011-07-22T23:57:00.006+08:00

how much can you change yourself for the one you love?
how much can you tolerate for the one you love?
how much time and effort will you give for the one you love?

to what extent will you say no to the one you love?

do you judge the extent of your love by the episodes and severity of angina or epigastric pain you have?

what is love anyway?
to make a person loses his/her mind,
to make a person sways from his/her usual schedule and plans,
to make a person keeps convincing him/herself that he/she actually doesn't love her/him that much which actually makes him/her wasted more time,
to make a person wants to see her/him again but at the same time doesn't want to,
to make a person keep checking his/her phone for call or sms,
what is this love-hate feelings anyway?

there are so many stories happening in front of me everyday,
each is different and they are all termed 'love',
confusing, totally confusing.

its like knowing there is a poisonous scorpion in front of you,
ready to sting you but you are still uncontrollably walking towards it,
got stung and then complain that it hurts,
i mean of course it hurts!
you knew you are getting it already!

when it comes to love, the braking system always fails.
you are not going to stop half way and say,
"well, I guess that's it, I'm done here."
and then walk away like nothing has happened.

its easy to fall into the deep well,
but you will take way longer time to get back up.

yea, I guess that's the 'love' that I have observed.

the real love is not like the above. =)
maybe similar especially the uncontrollable part,
but you will feel good.
well, if my understanding is correct.

The Law of Attraction.

2011-07-08T00:03:00.005+08:00

I'm glad that things work out the way I want it to be. =)

The law of attraction really works!

I'm very grateful and appreciating every moment!

Thank You. =)

One at a time.

2011-07-04T15:12:00.003+08:00

And here I am, with exams approaching and assignments pending, presentations, study groups, etc. All are overwhelming.
I thank god that I still have things in a semi-controlled manner.
I realize that my body responds to stress by sleep, and my brain responds to stress by a total blank-out and I tend to do mindless things subconsciously. Then I know, I need a break.
I don't know why I always don't want to admit that I am stressed out, always ignore it, and then turn out wasting more time in doing mindless things, when I was supposed to get a coffee break or sleep.
At the end of the day, although I am very tired, if I don't achieve satisfaction, I can't get a good sleep, flying thoughts here and there, and I want to do more, although time does not allow me to do so, and then the next day will be affected.
So, in conclusion, Tan Yee Ping, at least you still manage to list out your problems, try to fix them, be honest to yourself, what you can do and what you can't, don't go overboard.
And, drink coffee moderately. =)

Travel. Finding the self.

2011-06-22T06:47:00.002+08:00

There is something about walking alone in a place full with people who you don't know or yet to know.
I like it, full of possibilities, of who might become your good friends, of new insights you gained just by observing people and things.
Life is great, with possibilities, hopes and dreams.

I found myself a good place in a restaurant, reading The man who mistook his wife for a hat and other clinical tales by Oliver Sacks, found this book some time ago, attracted by its interesting book title.

People come and go, with different directions and aims in life. How interesting life is, to realize that when you are staying stagnant, time is still running and the world won't stop spinning. That's how I tell myself that all the downs and problems that I'm facing are just another stories that's happening in this universe, insignificant. Many things can happen, be it good or bad, the sun will still rise tomorrow morning.

=)
My life is great!

=)

2011-06-20T15:00:00.001+08:00

"The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - that you'd thought special, particular to you. And here it is, set down by someone else, a person you've never met, maybe even someone long dead. And it's as if a hand has come out, and taken yours."

=) It has been ages since I last finish reading a book. Its nice to pick up reading again.

Daily reflections: 140611

2011-06-14T16:25:00.004+08:00

Quality family outings, we should have more. =)
Cute grandma learning how to use my laptop. =)
Had photo sessions with grandparents. =)
Had a great time with parents in Cameron Highlands. =)
Spring cleaning. Just throw away and don't look back. Memories are meant to be in the past. Look forward and move on.
Phone-less since Sunday. I can survive this.
Poor internet connection at home = more time for the brain and soul.
Researched about smart phones and then realized that I should make full use of what I have instead of wanting new gadgets.
AirAsia double charged me when I make a credit card transaction. (>.<)
Realized that I need to be in control of my surroundings in order to function well.

Daily Reflection: 050611

2011-06-05T22:50:00.001+08:00

I appreciate the heart-to-heart talk session, brings out the true self and embedded feelings. We will see how things work out the way we are hoping for.
Relationship and friendship. They shouldn't clash, but if they did, a decision is crucial, either one or the other, we have to decide wisely.
True friends, people who will point out your weaknesses, who witnessed your ugliest moments and still willing to stay by your side. I appreciate, truely.
Sleep late and then wake up late, I missed the morning sunlight and breakfast.
What happened to my exercise regime?
Last minute works lead to indigestion and dissatisfaction.
I must make the most out of each study group session.
Unexplained uneasiness is the barrier to communication, if nothing much can be said, let's just smile and let everything falls naturally into place.
Facebook kills time, possible real human-to-human face-to-face communication and creates wrong perceptions about people and incidences. I should use it wisely.
Low birth weight is linked to obesity in later life, I should be careful and do more exercise.
Study shows that sleep >6 hours and <8 hours, i.e. 7 hours helps in weight loss.

"It really is that simple. We’re the ones who complicate it."

Transitional Period.

2011-05-12T00:15:00.000+08:00

倦了，日子还是要照过；
累了，日程还是满满的。

刚刚进入O&G，又是全新的领域，感觉陌生，很是担忧。
但相信一切都会好起来的！

When life meets uncertainty, let's hold on to our routines and strive through the transitional period, believe that everything will be alright soon, and it will be! =)

I have faith in myself.
I can do it! =)

the unconditional love

2011-05-08T11:52:00.001+08:00

For the 2 most important persons in my life:

I miss you. I love you.

Nobody in this world can ever compare to you.

I'm so blessed to have you in my life!!!

Colors of my life. =)

2011-05-07T05:06:00.004+08:00

I want to shape myself up,
to be the one that I always wanted to be,

although the process can be messy at times.

Travelling down the journey of life,
constantly discovering new insights about myself,
many times through the lens of others.

Through trials and errors,

I will eventually get the right combination of colors in my life.

感恩

2011-05-02T22:10:00.000+08:00

想了想，写了写，
重新整顿好心情后又要出发啦！

在日记里把大小事分轻重，
把重重要的人事物放在第一位，耗我大部分的时间精神注意力；
然后到可有可无的人事物，有时间才去投资一下。

发现我的脑袋真的区分下来，还真的很简单，
重要与不重要；值得与不值得。
毕竟没有像僵尸般的寿命时间；
一定要善用善待我所拥有的。

发现有时候，相处时间的多少、联络的次数不等于要好程度与心里所占据的分量。
有些人某种情况下必须时常腻在一起，但永远走不进对方的心。
有些人偶尔的关怀却浓缩了24/7的爱、挂心与思念。

感恩这世界上，我所拥有的重要与值得的人！

我很幸福！=)

友

2011-04-19T10:42:00.000+08:00

曾经在纪念簿里滥用的四个字‘友谊永固’，
年纪越大越不敢再用。

在这千变万化的世界里，计划赶不上变化，变化赶不上境迁，
能相处过已是缘分。

人说君子之交淡如水，淡得清甜、淡得舒服、淡得自在、淡得自然，
只知道心里的某个角落有你妳，
感恩际遇、感恩缘分。

天下无不散之筵席，
没关系我们最终也得分离，
因为人心人脑会把真的留下。

近来

2011-04-17T23:05:00.000+08:00

生活得很公式化，一直提醒自己一定要discipline，这么多年来第一次有这么坚定的想法。
少说话，多实践的时候，发现自己真的有很多的不足，活了21年到底怎么熬过来的，哈哈。
学会了每天早上一定要吃早餐，午餐晚餐要吃得健康，要对自己的身体负责任，简单的道理21岁了才懂。
从喧闹的人群中退了一步，发现每个人都在以自己的方式参与，寻找自己的定位。
在感性和理性中的平衡点，有的时候，是那淡淡的一抹微笑。

Every month certain days

2011-04-10T10:36:00.000+08:00

Friends all around the world, facing all kinds of difficulties and problems.
Life is not complete without certain ups and certain downs.
I'm here because of what I did yesterdays... and yesteryears.
I appreciate that I still got people to talk to when I need to.
Don't think too much and just do it, fix it and make it happens.

I'm not alone.
OH my PMS.

At home home.

2011-04-02T19:17:00.003+08:00

清明时节雨纷纷。
you will know how important something/someone to you when you're at risk of losing them.
I can give more.
PD is notorious.
EBCP done. HSM done. Contemporary Issue alamak!
Overweight >.<

=) Home is still the best. Less stress although with the same amount of works to do. Don't know why. =)

everything happens for a reason

2011-03-31T18:02:00.000+08:00

make sure your bottle cap is closed tightly before putting it in your bag.
htc water damage detection sticker, pink is bad.
breakfast is very important.
no more sophisticated handphone.
parsimonious.

mind-lines.

2011-03-31T02:25:00.001+08:00

The R1 stuff in year 4c mbbs conditions map is 4 pages long.
Khalid Kadir and GLP-1.
Jumiah and Palliative.
Focus on the right thing.
Biological clock readjustment.
Life and discipline.
About forming my true self and grow from the inside.
Home. Grandparents. Parents.

梦想与现实

2011-03-14T18:34:00.001+08:00

梦想与现实的距离有多远？
我想，有一颗心那么远吧。

每一次看了救灾行动，心里总有一种痒痒的感觉，
but I'm still far from up to par,
很想说，“等我。。。等我。。。等我有资格了再说。”

我很快乐

2011-03-06T13:35:00.001+08:00

站在9楼的天台，望着新加坡与马来西亚那短短的距离；
伸一伸懒腰，让海风吹走我紧绷的思绪；
啊！我还真的是什么都不缺！
目标清晰的感觉真好！

=)

Lessons in my life.

2011-02-27T17:03:00.008+08:00

A lot of things happened lately.

A nissan bang a nissan, RM420 gone.
6 days in a private hospital costs you around RM6000.
Parents are always there when you need them. So only ask for their help when you really can't sort out a way.
Friends in need are friends indeed. How true.
Things pile up if you stop working for a day. What about 9 days?
When you lose health, you are compromised, physically and mentally.
What is life if you can't eat and can't poo normally?
Appreciate now. You will never know what happen next.
You think what you are doing now is difficult and you are trying to avoid what you can do but don't want to do now? Wait till your body ignores your mind, you want to do it but you just can't. A simple move like picking up the phone to make emergency call. That's difficult.
Life's short. Invest your time only on important people and things which are worthwhile. Ignore nonsense and insincerity.
Stop sulking and complaining. At least you are still able to sulk and complain.

People always ignore things which once seem impossible to happen in their life.

But bear in mind, nothing is impossible in this world.

the baby sucks my little finger =P

2011-02-17T23:57:00.001+08:00

Mixed feelings for the day.

Sometimes a know-next-to-nothing medical student can actually do something good by just roaming around the wards.
Something good like, pick up a malfunctioned branulla which swells up a 5 months old child's hand, a soft and flabby forearm becomes very hard and round, and become twice the circumference of the proximal arm, so scary, very scary.

Sometimes we have to be cruel to do something good on others.
Something good like inserting a branulla on a very very fat kid, with big fat round four limbs, very small vessels. First time in my life, I saw someone can cry until so tired then he fell asleep and woke up on pain, cry cry cry and fell asleep again. (>.<), with 2 HOs, 1 Head Nurse working on his 3 limbs, one more limb cannot be poked cause it was swollen up already. I'm sorry but we have to do this kid =(

他妈妈问我：“如果没发现的话会怎样？手会直接不能用吗？”
我说：“不会啦aunty! 没有这样严重啦！” but I stayed there till the forearm turns from hard to soft, then only I left. Yes I know its not that serious, but I just feel bad cause I am the one holding (pressing?) on the baby when the others are poking him. (>.<)

Sometimes a small little finger can stop a neonate's cry.
While examining a neonate, notice his facial change, if he looks like he is going to cry, faster let him suck your finger, then it will stop crying while you do the other examinations, hahahaha =P

My mum said when I was born, I was only 1.25kg, the size of a small cat. Today after roaming the A4 ward, I finally know what she meant.
The smallest baby I saw today was only 1.22 kg, very very fragilely small (>.<)

Kids are innocent and straightforward.
When they don't like you, they cry, they avoid you, they don't want to talk to you.
When they like you, they will tell their parent, "这个姐姐很好！" Although its just a simple compliment from a 5 year old, but it makes me happy for the day.
Its very important for a kid to like you if you are in paediatrics. And also be friendly to their parents.

Kids are angel.
They don't pretend, although some really got a lot of 'patterns'.

haha =)

Tired day... Paeds is fun! =)

and it feels good as well when you see the boy you were following up say bye bye bye to you and run in opposite direction, shouting, "我要回家liao!" like he never wanna see you and the white coat again, looks more healthy and more active compared to the first day you saw him.
Looking at him running away, I smiled =)

=)

First Prescription =)

2011-02-14T21:20:00.000+08:00

I'm really happy today =)
I got to write my first prescription for my patient =)
I really feel like I'm a doctor =)
Well, I'm going to be one soon! =)

Study study study in clinical school now! =)
jia you! =)

And oh! Happy Valentine's Day people! =)
Can inspiration be my Valentine's present? =P

我很好

2011-02-12T00:27:00.000+08:00

再多的言语也抵不过纯粹的思念，
再多的人也抵不过那熟悉的温暖。

愿你们一切安好。
我很好，别担心。

脸皮薄，不对妳说的话。

2011-01-26T21:02:00.000+08:00

感恩，我有个幸福美满的家；
让我见识真爱，
庆幸我是在这种环境下成长，
或许，对有些人来说，
我的必然是他人的可遇不可求。

我所认识的婆婆，嫁给了逝妻、带着六个正值叛逆期孩子、大她十多岁的公公，
照顾他的饮食起居，
忍受他的坏脾气，
被前妻孩子们误解，
被朋友们取笑，
一切都忍了下来。
直到他的孩子们都带着愤人的原因走了，
还留在他身边，
不离不弃，
她生命的中心点是他。
是她的选择吗？
从我懂事以来，我一直想问；
还是没有了他，她真的没地方可去？
但这些问题重要吗？
看着她的无微不至，自认自己真的做不到，
这不是真爱是什么？
是宿命？是无可奈何？
尚且别继续追问，此刻双眸所见，无他，乃人间少有的真情也！

我真的很敬佩妳，婆婆。
我恨不得想以公公亲生孙女的身份，让妳过上更好的生活，
但什么对妳才是更好？
或许，到最后，在他的身边，才是你的最好吧。

=) 就有些人，在我埋在书堆烦躁的时候，想说，我一定要成功，不为了我，也要为了你们。
婆，你就是其中一个。

等我。

LOVE

2011-01-16T07:00:00.001+08:00

just watched "Going the Distance" and "Love Actually", and I'm full of love already...

Awww... We definitely need spices like these in life! =)

未知的未来

2011-01-10T04:52:00.001+08:00

天黑了，
沉睡的感性活跃了起来，
想了好多好多，
一直害怕面对的那一面，此刻特别清晰。

恐惧，
真是个可怕的东西，
多次的失败把我的锐气践踏得面目全非。

就像一个人突然置身于深不见底的大海里，
我四肢慌张地摆动着，
黑漆漆的，
向上看，不知海面离我有多远，
向下看，不知海底有多深，
无止尽地恐惧着，
多么希望有人可以拉我一把，领着我到正确的方向。

我的世界里最大的恐惧，
莫过于只身处于黑深的未知数里，找不着方向。

An awesome experience.

2010-12-27T10:27:00.001+08:00

Thanks Lisa's mum, Lisa, Michele, Ju Li & Hui Ruan for this wonderful trip.

My travel log in my red book is full of precious memories, I wish I have more time to go into details.

As for others in the same GTT tour group, we might not meet again but you will always be part of my memory when I recall this trip.

I'm blessed.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year =)

Its different this year =)

In a good way =)

Japan here I come!

2010-12-18T12:10:00.001+08:00

Yes, I'm VERY VERY excited for my Japan trip!!! =)

will be going off from 19th December till 25th December!!!
AHHHHHHHH~~~~~~~

I'm very happy =)

移

2010-12-14T00:52:00.001+08:00

To be a better ME.

I don't want to make promises anymore.

I want to work things out.

2010 is going to end soon, and I still have lots of area to be improved.

What makes a better ME?

I know the answer, but its the process which requires lots of hard work and mental strength makes it difficult.

After 21 years of living, I'm still in the process of forming my character and personality that I want to be.

I hope its not too late.

It is so easy to give up and just be who I am now, but I don't want it to be!

江山易改，本性难移。

陈依憑，你还得加把劲！

脑

2010-12-01T01:07:00.000+08:00

我把脑袋倒了出来，
放在桌上，
好好地除掉杂物，
将血管重新放到原本的凹陷，
将神经线排好，
为每个脑细胞注射营养剂，
再镶回头壳里。

陈依憑又重新启动啦！

=) =) =)

加油！

等我

2010-11-29T22:46:00.001+08:00

公公婆婆，真希望你们能踏出那栋楼，一起出国去。
希望我不在的每一天，你们还是健健康康的。
我知道我真的很不孝顺，不能把更多的时间给你们。
等我。等我。
等我回家去。

War.

2010-11-21T13:35:00.000+08:00

Another battle on 24th Nov.

This time I'm gonna make it right.

Battle.

2010-11-17T23:51:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is the battle.

But still, I don't feel right.

考试

2010-11-16T22:30:00.000+08:00

从几时开始，我读书真的只为了考试？

不妥。

Happy 21st Tan Yee Ping!!! =)

2010-11-10T22:51:00.003+08:00

过了明天十一点，我二十一岁了！
陈依憑二十一了！
时间真的过得好快好快，
再过两年，就踏入医界，进入梦乡职业了！

大学五年，前四年的生日都在考试，
明天就是了啊！好多好多还没读完！
此刻的心情就像捉着快铁的一端，快铁却径自地向前奔驰，我的身体就这样飘在半空中，手捉着铁柄，好痛好痛！
这快铁要开到24号才会停下，撑着吧！

又是一个啃书的生日！

Thanks Isuri for your lovely birthday gift! =) Really appreciate!!! =)
Can hug and squeeze it when I'm too sick of studying! =P

31st Oct Danga Cruise Dinner =)

2010-11-01T03:17:00.001+08:00

Thanks Mumeds Monash for organising such a wonderful night on Danga Cruise.

Seriously thank you.

With exams approaching, you guys still manage to spend time making this dinner a success.

You guys are awesome.

After the cruise, to accompany someone, I forced myself to go clubbing first time ever in JB, second time in my life.

Again confirm that I don't like it at all.

The smoke.

The music.

The random people.

The alcohol.

And whatever that are happening there.

Why do people like clubbing so much?

With people rubbing against people, those sweaty body and wrong intentional conversations.

Twice is enough.

But still, the night is awesome, neglecting the fact that I brought my camera without the memory card in it. Smart.

My make up and dress are very plain as me trying to save money =P

But my dress is expensive enough for me already, so quite happy and satisfied with the outcome =)

Tan Yee Ping,

today is 1st November,

11, 18, 24, will be the exams!!!

Focus.

I will do well.

Jia You!!!

p.s. I just reached back with my body smells of cigarettes. Seriously, clubbing no more. Not fun at all.

Precious Friendships (Part 2)

2010-10-24T01:56:00.007+08:00

http://yeepingtan.wordpress.com/2009/12/11/precious-friendships/

And our journey continues. =)

Pictures say a thousand words. (An excuse people use when they are lazy to put captions =P )

And a lot more outings that we didn't think of taking pictures.

Many more to come.

p.s. There are ups and there are downs. Thanks for always be there with me even though I am weird and sensitive.

~发生了很多事后, 还留下来的人, 我们叫他真朋友。~

感恩有你

2010-10-23T00:06:00.001+08:00

至少还有你陪我说话，
普通几句言语就发现我有问题烦恼。

耐心聆听后，
诚实地告诉我，
我的固执，
我的过错，
我的缺点，
建议我改善的方法，
谢谢你的时间、劝导、金钱。

真的谢谢你，
当我错了，就直接告诉我错了，
而且不管我如何为自己辩护，都坚持我错。
真的谢谢你。

我会记得你所说的，
尽力做好自己，
我的生命里有太多的爱，
不能让这些珍贵的爱失了价值。

我要好好为这些爱努力。
父母、家人、真心朋友，谢谢你们。

一通越洋电话

一份关怀

一个知己

无限感激

101010: 10.10PM

2010-10-10T22:10:00.002+08:00

Appreciation.

1. For the chance to study in Monash Medical School.

2. For being well fed, maybe over-fed.

3. For supportive and caring parents, without you, I will not be who I am today.

4. For the comfy bed to sleep on every night.

5. For a healthy body, imperfect but fully functional.

6. For the money that flows into my wallet by simple clicks on the ATM machines.

7. For all the things that I get by a card and my signature.

8. For the books which I have collected.

9. For a phone call, and I will hear your soothing voice, understands me even before I utter a word.

10. For being alive.

Aims.

1. Be early for at least 5 minutes in any occasion.

2. Count to 10 before I say anything when I'm irritated.

3. Up for breakfast everyday, at least before 9am.

4. Exercise half an hour everyday, any time of the day.

5. Call home everyday, even for less than a minute.

6. Good quality of reading at least 2 hours a day.

7. Smile to people, for being in a bad mood is my own issue.

8. Be more confident in telling people the stuff that I know, hence more readings are required.

9. Don't ever raise my voice towards anyone, nobody deserves that, even people I'm closed to.

10. Don't worry too much. If things are meant to be, just let them be. Just do my best and let god takes care of the rest.

I want to be a better person.

For the people I love and the people who love me.

And of course, for myself.

Oh!

2010-10-08T00:19:00.002+08:00

Happy 22nd birthday ah Goh Gim Ling!!! =)

Glad that you are happy that day!!! =)

5th October 2010. =)

Housemates =)

2010-10-07T23:52:00.001+08:00

It is nice to have your housemates asking about your symptoms and trying to reach a provisional diagnosis of your clinical features.

"I think is viral la... cause no green color one... last time I got is green color one... she says hers is clear one wo..."
"You got joint pain ar? If got then maybe Dengue lo... Dr Wong say got white islands in red sea le... see see... got rash or not..."
"I think you have what I had last time... Viral... Influenza virus got so many strains, vaccinated already also will get one... hopefully not H1N1..."
"You got retroorbital pain ar... den take 2 panadols now... nah nah... won't sleep one..."
"And then take Clarinase for your blocked nose... also won't sleep one... pseudoephedrine lai..."
"I still got Sinucidin tablets left from the doctor I see last time... if you take Clarinase then cannot take Sinucidin arr... it got everything one... careful not to overdose yourself..."

blah blah blah~ =)

And I feel better after the long conversations. =)

Thanks.

Heng Ming Choo & Ng Hui Ruan!!! =)

And I realised we don't have a picture with 3 of us in it! Must take one! =)

I'm now staring at the medications on my table, SMILING =) =) =)

结果

2010-10-01T10:28:00.001+08:00

我正用尽心力地捉紧那好不容易找回的自我，
一步一步地向前进。

眼前太亮了，亮得我无法直视，看不清楚，
知道终点在那，所以我不理会皮肤被晒得红肿，
时而低着头，蹒跚而行。

已分不清是血还是汗，但已不再重要，
我的眼睛看不见其它的，
只‘看见’抵达终点后，我意想中的美好。

赤裸地描述我最近的心境。。。

惑

2010-09-24T12:35:00.000+08:00

有时在想，这样的反反复复是否拉近了我与人生目标的距离。
有时在想，我是否真的有能力达成我的人生目标。
有时在想，这条颠簸的路我是否还能撑下去。
有时在想，我是否是那块料。
有时在想，一直以来之所以克制自己别想太多，是否因为路已走了一半，不可再想‘当初如果’。

不想放问号，
因为心里已有答案，
无论如何一定得走下去，
我已没有选择，也不想选择。

回到当初，我也会选择同样的路吧。

抗拒使用‘梦想’这词，
我不要只‘梦’！
我不要只‘想’！

我的人生目标是我这条路的指标！

=) Jia You.

2010-09-21T00:16:00.002+08:00

Because I care.

Just be happy shall we?

May we all be successful in our respective field.

Be healthy. Be well. Be free.

Best wishes from me to you.

Reminder.

2010-09-20T13:22:00.001+08:00

Friendship.

2010-09-20T13:12:00.002+08:00

they said nothing lasts forever.
I never asked for forever.
Just hope we can all be happy together.
I appreciate your existence in my life.
I'm emo. I hope its just my PMS.

走火入魔

2010-09-06T01:11:00.001+08:00

Love is simple.

It will be.

Yay! Its the 1ST! =P

2010-09-01T02:37:00.000+08:00

September!

I changed.
I improved.
I learnt to appreciate more.

I love my family more.
I appreciate my friends more.
I believe in my dreams more.

As usual,
I'm really happy at the beginning of a NEW month.
New hope. New chapter. New way to face life.

Let the past be in the past.
I look forward for more excitements.

Its time to reset my short-term memory again.
Unhappiness counter set to zero.
Misunderstandings counter set to zero.
Quarrels, doubts, etc. counter set to zero.
Let the GOOD onesss continue to multiply =)

Hey LIFE, amaze me! =P

A great post - For One Malaysia.

2010-08-30T14:07:00.001+08:00

Both my parents are Malay. My mum's heritage includes Chinese, Thai and Arab, while my dad is Minangkabau. Due to my skin colour, I am often mistaken for a Chinese.

I'm happy that I don't have the typical Malay look but I do get annoyed when people call me Ah Moi or ask me straight up "Are you Chinese or Malay"

Like, why does it matter? Before I used to answer "Malay" but now I'm trying to consciously answer Malaysian instead.

There's this incident from primary school that I remember till today. Someone told me that I will be called last during Judgement Day because I don't have a Muslim name. Of course, I was scared then but now that I'm older, I realise that a name is just a name. It doesn't define you as a good or bad person and there is definitely no such thing as a Muslim name. You can be named Rashid or Ali and still be a Christian.

I've heard of the 1Malaysia concept, but I think we don't need to be told to be united. We've come such a long way that it should already be embedded in our hearts and minds that we are united. Unfortunately, you can still see racial discrimination and polarisation. There is still this ethno-centric view that the Malays are the dominant group and their rights must be protected, and non Malays are forever the outsiders.

For the concept to succeed, I think the government should stop with the race politics. It's tiring, really. We grew up with application forms asking us to tick our race. We should stop painting a negative image of the other races, stop thinking about 'us' and 'them' and focus on 'we', 'our' and 'Malaysians'.

No one should be made uncomfortable in their own home. A dear Chinese friend of mine said to me once, "I don't feel patriotic because I am not made to feel like Malaysia is my home, and I don't feel an affinity to China because I have never lived there.

I know some baby Nyonya friends who can trace their lineage back hundreds of years. I'm a fourth generation Malaysian. If I am Bumiputra, why can't they be, too? Clearly I have issues with the term.

I think the main reason why we still can't achieve total unity is because of this 'Malay rights' concept. I'd rather 'Malay rights' be replaced by human rights. So unless we get rid of this Bumiputra status, or reform our views and policies on rights, we will never achieve unity.

For my merdeka wish, I'd like for Malaysians to have more voice, to be respected and heard. I wish that the government would uphold the true essence of parliamentary democracy. I wish for the people to no longer fear and discriminate against each other, to see that we are one and the same.

I wish that Malaysia would truly live up to the tourism spin of Malaysia truly Asia. Malaysians to lead - whatever their ethnic background. Only ONE NATIONALITY MALAYSIAN. No Malays, No Chinese, No Indians - ONLY MALAYSIANS. Choose whatever religion one is comfortable with.

MERDEKA
MERDEKA
MERDEKA

by,
Sharyn Lisa Shufiyan
Great Granddaughter of Allahyarham Tunku Abdul Rahman

I really hope many Malaysians can read this.
I repost this not because I'm a Chinese, but I'm a Malaysian.
Our country is rich, we have the petroleum, large acres of oil palm estate, rubber estates, pineapples etc. We are exporting water to Singapore, we are surrounded by sea which is full of protein sources, we have the second highest building in the world after 911, we have lots of highly-educated individuals including those currently residing in other countries......

What I want to say is Malaysia has full capacities to compete with other countries, or to be a better country.

We have to be ONE,
who cares we are Malays,
who cares we are Chinese,
who cares we are Indians,
who cares we are of other ethnicity,
we got to be ONE.

I love my country,
but I have to make sure it is worthwhile for me to serve my country,
do my country appreciates me who don't pray 5 times a day and eat pork?

I'm a Malaysian,
my birth certificate and identity card proves it.
I can't 'go back to China' even though Air Asia has cheap tickets.

劉若英 - 給十五歲的自己

2010-08-28T02:09:00.001+08:00

感觉累了的时候，抱着我们的真心，静静好好的休息。

没有地图，人生只能凭着手中的梦想。

美词。美歌

U

2010-08-26T20:02:00.000+08:00

Patient's 'Thank You' makes me smile from yesterday till today. =)

Why can't U just admit that you are wrong in the diagnosis?

Why can't U just admit that you have missed the collapsed lung?

Why can't U just admit that you accidentally punctured his lung during chest tube insertion?

(That's why you keep ignoring me and not willing to check the patient again...)

Why can't U just double checked your findings when a medical student bring it up to you?

Why can't U just trust a medical student's finding in physical examination?

I'm not yet 100% confident with my physical findings, hence I tend to be more thorough and careful while examining a patient.

Luckily, there is still good doctor around who is not at all arrogant and willing to double-check for the patient's sake.

A life is saved.

I learnt something.

I must get as much knowledge as possible, don't want to be like U.

And, when I'm wrong or did something wrong intentionally or unintentionally, I will admit it, and try my best to FIX it.

Hey U, its a life that we are talking about and he has to be saved.

Which one is worse?

The end of a career or The end of a life?

Yes, both are important.

But for me, I think the latter is worse.

If I were U, and worse comes to worse I have to sacrifice one, I won't think twice to sacrifice my career and to save a life. At least, something can be done and a death can be prevented.

CAT Harm and the rest.

2010-08-23T03:07:00.002+08:00

Its 3am and I have class at 8.30am later!
I still can't find the suitable article for my Critical Appraisal Topic (CAT) assignment!
I'm just too obsessed with my PICO question, I don't want to change it just because I can't find a suitable article for it! I'm so so so stubborn! Why am I so stubborn?! I have been sitting here for so many hours already!

Maybe that theory applies here, 'When things don't change, we change!' AHHH~
In the end I still have to give in, and to form another question at this hour. *sob* ah! *sob*

3.05am,
still got no idea what question should I form.

*sob*
capital letter *SOB*

Its either Hui Ruan's or Ming Choo's alarm clockss keep on snoozing since 12am till now, alternately.
They probably have several alarm clocks set before they go to sleep, or rather nap, every time.
I have really hardworking housematess which is really a good thing (>.<), can motivate me (>.<), and stress me up most of the time especially weekdays (>.<).

My way to destress is to watch random movies or videos on PPS,
while Hui Ruan watches educational documentary videos. (>.<)
And Ming Choo, err... never see her off her study table, always on the study mode.
I seriously need to modify my lifestyle to catch up in my study.

And thanks to Jian Yuan,
I realised I have not much time left in surgical posting before my Urology and Orthopedic posting starts.
I need to complete my logbook soon before the postings started.
I need to start prepare for the EOY exam which covers the whole year stuff, Medical, Surgical, Dermatology, Urology, Orthopedic... (>.<)

I still have MCR with Dr Anil.

Chill Tan Yee Ping!
Chill~~~
(>.<)

3.20am,
continue to think a new PICO question.

好想回家

2010-08-21T01:31:00.001+08:00

好久没给家里打电话，
课业忙了起来，人与人之间的互动也少了许多，
或许忙碌的时候，大脑自然地分轻重，为身体省些麻烦，
或许忙碌得只能顾好自己的时候，就能看出真情所在吧。
难怪人说患难见真情。

突然好想家。
好想一觉醒来就在自家床上了。

=)

大雨

2010-08-17T17:51:00.000+08:00

下雨天，好大好大的雨，窗外的一切有着朦胧的美，
将手边的作业停下，静静聆听雷雨交加下心灵的寂静。

玫瑰远观高贵美丽，近看枝上却长满了刺；
有些人事物，太清楚，反而不美了；
何不保持着适当的距离，让人与人之间有着喘息的机会，就让美留于心中。

只要吾心是平静的，就算处于吵杂人世中，心湖始终不起浪。

给你：你不知道的事

2010-08-10T19:58:00.003+08:00

这首歌，诠释了当初的我们、想对你说的一切。
太迟了吗？
无济于事了吗？
至少对那一段情、念旧的我有个交代。

没错，回忆又怎样，你永远不会明白当初的那份痛心。
没错，思念又如何，我真的只有怀念当初真挚的情感而已。

感恩上天让你找到了她，
我做不到的，她可以吧！

衷心祝你幸福。=)

我吗？
继续飞行吧。 =)

一个人

2010-08-09T20:05:00.000+08:00

一天下来的累与满足感，
就像冰箱里快要腐烂的蔬菜，
在锅子里化了开来。

脑子里的烦恼，
就像从厨房里那一大包放了好久的健康米爬出来密密麻麻的黑色虫子一样，
在风扇不停转动的室温下慢慢蒸发。

我想我真的已习惯了在这里的生活，
真的。

=)

一个人，
还蛮不错的 =P

our story

2010-08-06T17:25:00.002+08:00

His last lecture.

2010-08-03T20:45:00.000+08:00

Experience what you get, when you don't get what you want.

A good apology has 3 parts:

I'm sorry,

it was my fault,

how do I make it right?

(Most people skipped that third part, that's how you can tell sincerity.)

We all have people that we don't like who had done things we don't like,

and what I found is no one is pure evil,

if you waited long enough, they will show you their good side,

you can't make them do it in a hurry, but you can be patient.

Show gratitude.

Gratitude is a simple thing, and its a very colorful thing.

You can spend your time, effort and energy complaining,

or by playing the game hard,

which is probably more helpful for you in the long run.

If you live your life the right way, if you live properly,

the dreams will come to you.

Thanks to:

Dr. Randolph Frederick "Randy" Pausch

(October 23, 1960 -- July 25, 2008)

他不喜欢你

2010-07-29T23:59:00.000+08:00

你啊你，是否曾经有人对你说过，“那个人，他，不喜欢你。”
简单、尖锐的几个字，
你承认也好，不承认也好，
或许像支小针、或许像把大刀，
插入你心坎，
不舒服。

他可以是你很重视的人，
没想过他会这么说你的人，
根本不在意的人，
完全不认识的人，
从前者到后者，
由重至轻，
你心里头总会有那么一丝丝的介意。

这种喜欢不是那种罗曼蒂克式的，
所以其实并不值得放在心上，
毕竟不是每个人都能接受每个人的处世行径，
没有人有必要为了某人改变自己，
也没有人有权利要别人为自己改变。

活得要像自己，
活得要开心。

所以，
我跟你说我不介意，
那是骗人的，骗不了自己。
我说我活着不在意任何人的眼光，
也是骗人的，当然还是骗不了自己。

要不然，
我何必打了长篇大论，
一边说服自己别介意。

哈哈！
我非常介意！！！
但，
就这样咯，
你不喜欢我也没办法，
我就是我啊！

何必为了一棵树，舍弃整座森林。

让我慢慢地、再慢慢地不介意吧！
(>.<)

MCR with Dr Lu.

2010-07-28T21:41:00.001+08:00

Dr Lu said that,
yes, you got all the informations,
but, you throw them all together in a pile to the examiner,
and expect the examiner to sort them out for you,
of course, the examiner will throw them back to you in a pile more nasty than the previous one,
and, there you go,
drown and suffocated by the mess you created yourself.

Dr Lu said that,
I have to dig dig dig dig dig to get a tiny bit of information from you,
it wanders somewhere in your mind and doesn't follow the queue,
*putting his thumb on the distal phalanx of his little finger*
not every examiner will do this,
not every examiner got the time.

Dr Lu said that,
if you think all fever with cough and sputum are URTI,
you are a very dangerous doctor,
of course examiner won't want to release dangerous doctor into the society.

Dr Lu,
(>.<).

*OUCH*

So far so good.

2010-07-26T22:05:00.001+08:00

MCR in 2 days time with Dr. Lu, since I've done Cardio and Respi system, this time it will be either Neuro or Endocrine (>.<) which are 2 systems that I'm really not familiar with. I can just try my best.

And yea, there is only one single lady out of 3 in this house only, who is using a red Sony Vaio, hTC Touch2 and a pink stethoscope. (>.<) again. I can no longer sing "All the single lady, all the single lady..." out loud, cause there will only be a few in my batch to join me. (>.<) once more.

I'm starting to like the surgical ward, West 4, did my first PR examination and branula insertion there. But still, sorry for all the patients whom I had tried on the branula insertion, I guess if its affordable, I will not send my relatives to a government hospital. (>.<)

I've missed gym for many days. It started with a day, and then 2 days, and then I exercised for 3 times a week, and then tut. I should be committed again. (>.<)

Surgical posting starts to get busy, maybe I'm on the right track already. No more (>.<).

=)

! =)

2010-07-20T20:34:00.000+08:00

slowly slowly (but not too slow) improve at my own pace! =)

When we open up our clouded mind, a brand new world which is full of sunshine says, "hi!!!"
And I say, "hi hi hi !!! !!! !!!" back! =)

Energy !!! !!! !!!
Power !!! !!! !!!
Strength !!! !!! !!!

hohoho

Conclusion of Sem 5.

2010-07-19T20:19:00.000+08:00

What was I doing all the while ???!!!

If exams results really reflect how much efforts I had put in,
from the scale 0 to 10,
mine will be 3.

不甘心，
我一定可以做得更好!

The sun will rise =)

2010-07-15T00:46:00.000+08:00

And when I wake up tomorrow morning,
it will be a better day! =)

Yes, it will always be =)

Just another E.M.O. session.

2010-07-15T00:16:00.002+08:00

How can I blame you when I can't even be frank sometimes in life?

I always appreciate honesty,
or maybe its just that I'm lacking the skills to hide my feelings,
but sometimes I'm good,
remember those times when I was staring into the blank wearing the kinda face whole day that you said its too scary to approach and so you walked away,
and those times when I was laughing louder than usual or smiling more than what the situations supposed to make me,
yea,
those are the times when I managed to hide.

I believe I appreciate friendships more than others cause I don't have sisters or brothers.
But don't get me wrong, my parents are of the best kind that I will always look up to!

BE STRONG
BE HAPPY
BE ME.

Paper PBL

2010-07-14T20:39:00.000+08:00

Paper PBL this semester with Dr A, discussion style.
I got lost totally during every PBL with him seriously! (Well, so far I only had 2 sessions with him)

I realised that I started to blame others first when bad things happened,
about how some people are dominating the discussion,
about how the discussion topics are sometimes going too far that we can't get back,
about how powerpoint slides can actually aid in visual and hearing learnings,
about how do others don't realise that discussion style doesn't really works,
about how... way too many to make my mood worse.

Then I realised that,
to make a difference, I must change first,
I realised how lack of preparation I am during each PBL,
I realised how I always choose to hear what others say instead of contribute things that I know because of lack of confidence,
I realised how shallow my knowledge is in medical and surgical field,
I realised if I continue to be like how I am now I can't even be a competent medical student, not to say a doctor in future,
I realised... what I realised are not important if I didn't put my realizations into action!!! Action to change my learning style now!!! ARGH

There are lots of changes from my last medical posting till now, tutors and knowledge requirements.

BE STRONG
and MAKE CHANGES

Happy 20th Tan Yong Jing! =)

2010-07-14T12:56:00.000+08:00

We met each other through Yew Lee, form 1, you both in 1B, I'm in 1J =)

Then we same class in 2A1 and 3A3 =)

After that for whatever reasons =P, I stayed in 4S3 and 5S3, and you remained in 4S1 and 5S1 =)

2006, I remembered we were in KL after your class' graduation trip researching for pre-U courses with big ambitions in mind, taking buses, LRT and KTM from colleges to colleges, but I finally decided back to Penang Inti College just because a call from Yew Lee, saying that Joo Win, me and her should study together! That is the time when we can 'sacrifice' anything for friendship! hahaha =)

2007, I joined January admission but you said that you don't want to get back to study life too early.

Approaching March admission, you this fellow asked me to buy all the books for you but you never turned up and went to Subang Inti College!!! Well, at least you paid me back the money for the books.

Then, both of us continue with our totally different life and lost contact.

I heard from others that you're leaving to Australia? UK? Singapore?

In the middle of 2008, suddenly a call from you, saying that you already admitted to Monash University Sunway Campus and asked to meet up!

I think I told you this, you are seriously unpredictable!

2009, many things happened and I was at my low.

My heavy workload in school, the everyday travel from Serdang to Sunway and relationships problems made me exhausted.

And suddenly you said that you got a chance to transfer to ANU and even booked your one-way air ticket to prove your determination.

You called to persuade me to take up your room in Casa Subang, I was reluctant at first but since its a win-win situation, I decided to move out from my aunt's house.

Thanks to you, staying in Casa Subang did make my life easier.

After I moved in for a week, your spontaneity strikes again, you decided not to go ANU and sacrificed your RM2000+ air ticket.

Of course I won't give up my room after paying my deposits, and that's how you ended up in the study room for the rest of the year! haha =)

I really want to thank you for all the emotional support, laundry services etc. that time.

Despite the occasional quarrels, you have been a great friend!!! =)

2010, I'm in JB and you finally stepped on the kangaroo land early this year!

Well, I still heard that your hygiene issues are causing your landlord and housemates lots of headache, please please please try to fix this and you'll be good already! =)

And so, I dedicated this blog post to you, birthday boy, don't come back if you don't enjoy yourself thoroughly over there! And yes, I'm too stingy to call! =P

still remember this? Cunn Yong and you during Genting Inti Camp 2006 =) You are slimmer that time!

2007, we were a campus away!
Courtesy of Tom Lim

2009 Casa Subang.

2009 Autocity Swensen's.

2010 Blogger Cafe.

2010 Aussie Land, I have no idea where.
Courtesy of Magan Chow

Happy 20th birthday!!! =)

This is my version of story, how about yours? haha =)

别太感动哦！嘻嘻！ =P

DBSK ~ Love in the Ice

2010-07-14T01:34:00.000+08:00

The meaning of this song is beautiful <3

感情丰富

2010-07-10T02:22:00.003+08:00

感情丰富，并不是我的错；

感情丰富，才会让每一天充满色彩，不是吗？

就算夜空是黑色的，
我也看见了彩虹。=)

我的心永远，是彩色的。=)

070710

2010-07-07T23:32:00.001+08:00

I will always remember today, 070710 as the day I observed my first autopsy.
070710, the day I am grilled by Mr Farouk, the cardiothoracic surgeon.
And I seriously find surgical posting very interesting.
Well, maybe its too early to say that but I always have a thing for surgery.

2 autopsies was observed today. 2 suicidal case. 1 for love, 1 due to depression.
We came out from the autopsy room with mixed feelings, especially seeing the family members dressing up their loved one after the autopsy and formalin process, how strong they are.
The process of the autopsy is rough, but I believe it has to be so.

Humans are just composed of meat, fat and bones, seriously.
We are nothing superior than another mammal after death.

And today, I further confirmed that I'm really passionate in cutting up people.
But I don't ever want to become a forensic doctor.
So, I guess to be a surgeon is my call. =)

The Secret 1

2010-07-06T10:36:00.000+08:00

From The Secret Daily Teachings

Each of us is attracting in every moment of our lives. So when you feel that the law isn't working for you because you don't have what you want, realize that the law is responding to you. You are either attracting what you want or you are attracting the absence of what you want.

The law is still working.

May the joy be with you,

Rhonda Byrne
The Secret... bringing joy to billions

路

2010-07-04T22:17:00.002+08:00

吃过了Si Ying家的擂茶，红醩黄酒鸡，算盘子，腐竹薏米和爱玉冰，JB的日子又开始了。
Surgical Posting 的我会怎么样？现在的心情既兴奋又担心。
望着同样的大钟楼和海岸，我轻叹着人生里无数的可能性。

把远处的他们放在心底，郁闷时成为我的动力来源。

还有在人生路上跌倒的时候，希望我依然能微笑地与伤口拍张照。

漫漫长路，坚定地走下去吧！=)

Keep track.

2010-06-20T17:45:00.000+08:00

Dad finally agreed to go for a cataract surgery, I'm glad that I came home this holidays.

Grandma's osteoporosis is really really bad, nothing much can be done besides preventing falls and taking calcium supplements as if it will really help.

Grandpa's parkinson is under control, thank god.

Mum is having eyesight problems too but still hasn't get the chance to get her to see the eye specialist. And she has been so addicted to that useless facebook game!

Mum-side-grandma's hearing problem is getting worse but nothing much can be done too.

May all be well.

I have to keep track.

机场机场，家家！！！

2010-06-12T21:34:00.000+08:00

一个人的机场，
没错，一个人的，
因为人虽多，但却没有任何关联，没有交际，没有参与，
没有人介意，因为下了机，再怎么热络的交谈，身份又回到了路人甲乙丙丁，所以又何必费舌。

坐在机场的一角，观察着每一个人：

身边的女人，二十几岁，手中的流行杂志翻了又翻，时而掏出手机按了又按，没错，脸上是无聊的表情。
前面是一个马来家庭，父母五十来岁，父亲挺着中等肚腩，母亲体型圆润，女儿却非常瘦小，才七岁左右，儿子二十吧。

停！！！

觉得自己好无聊。。。

终于！

过了这门，上了那机，就可见到了朝思暮想的他们，

心情嘛，

非墨笔可形容也！呵呵！

家，就快到了！=)

那偶像剧 =P

2010-06-10T02:18:00.005+08:00

就这样简单地一起大笑，

一起为了偶像剧里的他‘疯狂！’、‘痴迷！’。

好久没有那么地放纵自己，
好久没再像多年前迷糊地追看偶像剧。

对偶像剧的厌恶感消失了，
好事？坏事？

一直以为自己很理智，
以至于不相信偶像剧里童话般的爱情，
其实硬殻下的我打从心底不相信爱情，
不！
不是！
是不敢相信爱情。。。

把心交出去实在太危险了！
怎么会有人毫不顾虑地奉献自我呢？
情非得已吗？
情不自禁吗？
真的好好好好好危险！！！

至少我是以平静的心欣赏偶像剧的，
至少我已克服了那顽固的抗拒感，
是，
是好事！

还有，能够一起大笑的缘分应该好好珍惜！=)

好啦！笑够啦！娱乐完啦！

回到现实，好好读书！=)

谁让我在医学系！=P

离回家没几天了

2010-06-08T21:03:00.000+08:00

眼中的青涩已不再，
船儿划破看似平静的海面，
大钟楼下的人们不知道，
他们专心追着球的这个傍晚，
在我的眼眸形成了唯美画面，
我的心平静得可以。

Prof Khalid's birthday and Group Dinner.

2010-06-04T01:10:00.001+08:00

3rd June 2010, Prof Khalid's birthday and also our group's dinner together with our tutors at Mutiara Hotel JB. It was a great dinner with laughters and joy =)

This marks the end of my medical posting. Thanks a lot Prof Khalid Kadir, Dr Yap Han Seong, Dr Toh Keng Kiat, Dr Miranda, Dr Wong Yin Onn, Dr Paul Ling and all other tutors.

I will try my best to be a good doctor =) Thanks for the guidance. =)

Medical Posting shapes me.

2010-05-31T10:30:00.000+08:00

My dermatology posting has come to an end, and my medical posting will officially end in 2 weeks time, and so do my semester 5.

Time flies.

End of semester 5 = 50% of MBBS has been completed

50% of the first stage of my dreams are going to be accomplished.
And yet, I still think that my knowledge is like a drop of sea water of the pacific ocean.

What can I do?
Keep learning. =)

I feel great to think that I will be going back home, the real home in Penang in 2 weeks time, since CNY. =)

In my limbic system I hope. =)

2010-05-30T22:47:00.005+08:00

I've taken this new Hippocratic oath from the 8th edition OHCM which is based on the BMA's Revised Hippocratic Oath.

The author shares the same thought with me when he said that:
"Clause 1 is the central clause. It has a terrible beauty. For many, it is our family that is our main priority. Often we can strike an uneasy compromise with family life."

There is also an interesting question and answer:

Where should we keep this oath?

Not in the dusty confines of a book, but in our limbic system where it has a every chance of influencing action, before our subverting cerebral cortex comes up with brilliant excuses as to why, in this case, the oath does not apply.

And another sentence:

We take this oath not because we are doctors but because sooner or later we are all patients.

Well, I will try to store this oath in my limbic system, who knows someday it may influence my action or somehow inspire me. =)

Hippocratic oath ~2010AD

2010-05-30T22:37:00.004+08:00

I promised that my medical knowledge will be used to benefit people's health. Patients are my first concern. I will listen to them, and provide the best care I can. I will be honest, respectful, and compassionate towards all.

I will do my best to help anyone in medical need, in emergencies. I will make every effort to ensure the rights of all patients are respected, including vulnerable groups who lack means of making their needs known.

I will exercise my professional judgment, uninfluenced by political or religious pressure, or the age, race, sexual orientation, social class, wealth, or celebrity of my patient. I will not put profit or my own career above my duty to my patient.

I recognize the special value of human life, but I also know that prolonging life is not the only aim of health care. If I agree to perform abortion, I agree it should take place only within an ethical and legal context.

I will not provide treatments that are pointless or harmful, or which an informed and competent patient refuses. I will help patients find the information and support they want to make decisions on their care.

I will be as truthful as I can, and respect patients' decisions, unless that puts others at risk of substantial harm. If I cannot agree with their requests, I will explain why.

If my patient has limited mental awareness, I will still encourage him or her to participate in decisions as much as they feel able. I will do my best to maintain confidentiality about all patients.

If there are overriding reasons preventing my keeping a patient's confidentiality I will explain them. I will recognize the limits of my knowledge and seek advice from colleagues as needed.

I will do my best to keep myself and my colleagues informed of new developments,and ensure that poor standards or bad practices are exposed to those who can improve them.

I will show respect for all those with whom I work and be ready to share my knowledge by teaching others what I know. I will use my training and professional standing to improve the community in which I work.

I will respect each of my roles, as expert, communicator, scholar, partner, manager, teacher, professional, and health advocate. I will promote fair use of health resources and try to influence positively those whose policies harm public health.

I recognise that I have responsibilities to humankind that transcend diktats and orders of States, and which no Legislature can countermand. I will oppose health policies that breach internationally accepted standards of human rights.

I will learn from my mistakes and seek help from colleagues to promote patient safety. While keeping within this framework, I will not be discouraged by failure, and will try to continue in a spirit of practical and rational optimism.

While I continue to keep this Oath unviolated, may it be granted to me to enjoy life and the practice of the Art, respected by all, in all times.

This oath is dedicated to doctors for whom circumstances allow no such compromise:
those who have not fled wars, or who have stayed at their posts during epidemics.

撑！

2010-05-24T22:15:00.000+08:00

加油吧！
没回家没关系啦，其实想想奔回家不也是一种逃避现实的举动？
累了就逃，不好！
坚持吧！
离真正回家还有三个礼拜而已，撑着点吧！

=(

2010-05-24T00:07:00.000+08:00

烦呀烦呀烦呀！真是有够烦的！

我爱他

2010-05-12T21:25:00.002+08:00

Finally learnt how to post a video! hahaha =) Thanks to Michele =)

对的人

2010-05-11T22:53:00.000+08:00

看着他她的感情变化，想起了自己的曾经，
‘挥别错的才能和对的相逢’
又怎能说谁是对的，谁是错的，
可能在对的时间遇见对的人才是现实吧？

=)

2010-05-11T01:46:00.000+08:00

Thanks for letting me know finally that my care for this friendship is not wasted at all. =)
I will continue to cherish our friendship.
May happiness be with you all the time and you can be more expressive. =)

‘真’的你

2010-05-09T00:31:00.000+08:00

谢谢你，
那么久没见面说话，
却感觉并不陌生，
真的喜欢你的潇洒、你的真，
还有喜欢那种没有杂念的友情。

你啊你！在生命道路上加油吧！
我俩的路不常交错，
但偶尔的聚头真的很。。。真！

‘真’真的不容易，
感恩有你！